Patricia Chan
September 7, 1939 - September 11, 2011
Patricia Chan, 72, of Mason, died in the early morning of September 11, 2011 of cancer. Patricia was very active with senior citizens and prayer groups of St. Susanna Church in Mason and an enthusiastic volunteer at the community center. Her warm smile and caring concern for the seniors in Mason will be missed. She was preceded in death by her husband Peter C.F. Liew and survived by her children Mary Jacqué (Dave), Susan Giovengo, Leonard (Siew Peng), Peter (Siew Chin) and Paul (June) Liew, grandchildren Steven Jacqué, Denise, Amanda, Alicia, Kristie and Jason Liew.
Dear Steven,
My mother died. We watched her cancer devour her spirit and gradually suck all life out. There are no words to describe the pain of someone watching her mother die. How hard we prayed: "Dear God, if you are not going to cure her, please take her now. For mercy's sake, please take her now." How does one wish death upon one's mother?
The last few days have been a surreal blur. What flowers would you like? What color casket? Should there be 50 prayer cards printed or 75? Where will the reception be? Will she be buried or will she be cremated? So many meaningless questions ...
What difference would all this make?
My mother was beautiful. She was a dancing queen, the belle of many a party in her day. She married my father at a young age. She had 5 children by the time she was 26. She raised your Auntie Sue, Uncle Leonard, Uncle Peter, Uncle Paul and me with tough love. She instilled in us, with disciplined certainty, compassion, assiduousness and spiritual strength. She made sure that we knew God.
All 5 of us had to attend 5:30 a.m. mass every day before school. We (at least I did) swallowed our soft-boiled eggs (yuck) whole to minimize the taste, and washed it down with warm milk (yuck again.) This was our breakfast. Then we would cram into my mother's small Mazda with school bags and all. It must be more sanctifying to worship God half-asleep making tortured efforts to pay attention to the priest's holy dronings. But we got to know God. We learned God's grace and goodness through sleep deprivation and my mother's relentless persistence.
Even as a young girl, I marveled at my mother's beauty. I would watch her put on her make-up, pick out the right outfit to wear and make sure that her hair was just right. We did not have much money. My mother sewed most of her own clothes and those for Auntie Sue and me. We always looked good. My mother was a vain woman. And proud of it! She always looked like she stepped out of a fashion magazine. She even took 2nd place in some beauty pageant when she was younger. People who didn't know us always thought that we were sisters instead of mother and daughter.
My mother was an excellent cook. I regret that I did not inherit this talent from her, but Uncle Peter and Uncle Paul did. She used to whip up the most amazing meals: rendangs, chow-fun, flying steaks and mouth-watering curries so spicy that my father would be drenched in sweat and nasal drippings eating it; all the while smacking his lips and nodding sated approval. Being very frugal, she was adverse to waste of any kind. She would recycle unpalatable leftovers that we wouldn't eat, to brand-new feasts that we unknowingly inhaled with voracious appetites.
Her culinary skills were shared by many more than immediate family. My mother always encouraged our friends to play at our house when we were younger. I think that this was her very sneaky way to keep close tabs on the 5 of us and who our friends were. Friends loved to be at our house because my mother would feed them well. She continued to cook for our friends even when we were grown. My mother lived with Auntie Sue, so all of Auntie Sue's friends got to know her. My mother "adopted" most of them, and lovingly cooked for them too.
My mother also taught us to respect our elders. My great-grandmother and grandmother lived with us. We learned to take care of them by my mother's example and instruction. For most of her life, my mother volunteered at different organizations to help the elderly. She chauffeured them to church and doctor visits, she held their hands in hospice, she prayed with them. She was their angel and their friend.
My mother taught us that life is not always fair. That we make our own fates and our own futures. She taught us independence and self-reliance. She taught us compassion for others. She taught us how to love unconditionally.
I will always be grateful for all these gifts. And I will miss her.
Love,
Mom
